When I started Musing Mummy at the beginning of the year, I was motivated by largely self-oriented themes - have a creative outlet, get the old thinky-thinky working again (still a work in progress), reflect on my mummy experiences in order to better digest them. But after writing a few posts, and getting some lovely feedback from other new mummies experiencing similar highs and lows, I realised there was more to this whole blogging thing. There's solidarity in knowing other women know exactly what you mean by sleep deprivation (and I'm sorry, if you haven't had kids, you really DO NOT know what it is, unless of course you are a clinical insomniac, in which case I retract my use of CAPITAL LETTERS). And there's sublime joy in describing your child's first steps or first word or first real, arms-flung-around-the-neck embrace to another mummy.
But I've been having serious blogging-guilt this month; I've not had the inspiration nor the inclination to blog. About anything. Sure, the occasional idea pops into my head and I think, Yes! Write about that! People will want your opinion on that most interesting topic, surely! But I just haven't been able to will it into existence. So, spurred on by my husband, a fellow blogger - http://daddydada1.blogspot.com/ - I've had a bit of a look around at what other mummy bloggers are writing about.
And I've concluded I'm a lazy mother blogger.
While I struggle to write a blog each month, some women are squeezing out blogs weekly, even daily! In the blogosphere (see, using right terminology so I must be a real blogger after all), you can pretty well write about anything you like, no matter how inane or interesting. Some people write about their observations of others, some write about their day-to-day experiences, others write satirically and sarcastically about various topics. And it is this style I like in particular. Check out Cate Pearce's most excellent post on bogans - http://catep36.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-is-bogan.html. I laughed so hard that I almost wet myself (thank goodness I did those Kegel's exercises after all); perhaps it is growing up in an area where bogans are de rigour that made her words so very true and amusing to me.
In an attempt to understand why I am such a lazy mother blogger, I thought back over my life and my various attempts at creativity/writing/reflection. And the big craft box in the study came to mind. You see, I am one of those people who gets struck by a creative idea - let's say, sewing my own baby booties - and has to go out, get the materials, do a quick google search to teach myself the basic skills involved, and DO IT RIGHT NOW. The fact I have a craft box filled with unused scraps of material, pieces of yarn and thread, various bits of scrapbooking paper I was convinced I would use one day, tells me that I am very fad-ish when it comes to creative endeavours. And so I return to my blog. While I began with that similar level of, "OH MY GOSH! I'M GOING TO WRITE A BLOG! QUICK, HAND ME THAT LAPTOP! I MUST WRITE!", I have struggled to maintain the same level of enthusiasm as the months pass.
But never fear, dear followers (yes, all 10 of you). I shall not give up just yet.
You see, a recent creative endeavour shows me that despite my fad-ish approach to most creative things (there was also a time I painted posterized images, stitched cross-stitch, and wrote AWFUL poetry), I can maintain energy, focus and commitment through to the end of the project. And here it is:
Yes, I knitted my very first baby jumper! One of my friends remarked at its completion, "Wow, Kate, you finished it and it still fits her!" I'm sure they (and many, many others) had hilarious mental images of me thrusting the completed baby jumper into my daughter's arms when I finally finished it, my daughter aged 15, and insisting she try it on, despite obvious physical obstacles. But I did it! And as darling daughter wanders around the house in my completed, resolved creative endeavour, I take comfort in the knowledge that I can see things through to the end, despite getting side-tracked with other must-do creative ideas.
And so I shall not hang up my blogging boots (or gloves, perhaps more suitably) just yet. I might have a tendency towards laziness, towards initial enthusiasm and subsequent loss of interest, but if I can knit an entire jumper (and if you're interested, I'm onto the next one now! In alpaca wool!), who knows what else I can do if I put my mind to it?